Bipolar Disorder

What do you think? Did it hinder or help?

What do you think? Did it hinder or help?

Recently I uploaded a new sound to my Soundcloud page. The sound included a “prophecy” that had been recorded and given to me when I was just 19 years old. At that age I’d never been to France and, although I’d taken French in high school, I couldn’t really speak or understand French. But I […]

Experimenting

Experimenting

The Experiment Not long ago I was lured into an experiment through a vague yet enticing invitation to go on an adventure! There were very few details. All I knew was that risk was certain and success was not guaranteed.  Trembling with fear, I summoned my courage and responded to the invitation. Within a short […]

Temporarily Disabled

Temporarily Disabled

I’m not disabled. Perhaps this is why I appear perfectly normal when I chat with strangers who’ve only known me for 5 minutes. After all, I’m not limping or dragging an oxygen tank behind me. I’m not confined to a wheelchair or aided by a service animal. I’m not visibly disfigured nor do I have […]

My St. Francis journal from 2005.

St. Francis and Me

St. Francis and Me I’m not Catholic and, until fairly recently, I was quite adamantly against Catholicism. That’s not to say I didn’t like Catholics. Regardless of my disagreements with many of the church’s theological positions, I always felt Christ moved within Catholicism just as much as he moved in any other Christian tradition. For […]

Why Do I Exist?

Why Do I Exist?

This happened more often than I would’ve liked. A professor would assign group projects and then release us young and unsuspecting students out of our seats to find a partner. I would usually freeze for a minute and survey the room while my body filled with a sense of fear and anxiety. Where do I […]

Pity the man who dares to love me...

Pity the man who dares to love me…

I’m not sure how “drunk” I actually was when I wrote this. What I can tell you is that I wrote it in 2007 with an inkwell pen while sitting alone in my one-bedroom apartment. It’s an expression of deep sadness and emptiness, feeling painfully unwanted and unloved. I was 27 when I wrote this […]

He Remembered My Name

He Remembered My Name

My study-abroad in France had been the fulfillment of a dream. At last I could immerse myself in a new language and new way of life! As I took my first steps on French soil, I yearned to be transformed. As an American, I felt stifled and unsatisfied with who I was. No label fully […]

Need to get out more

Need to get out more

Here I am, relaxed, calm, and content for the first time in ages. My life may be nothing to boast about (so far) but I will admit it’s a little too comfortable at times. I see my friends are out there in the world, happily married, raising children, and building a solid future. It’s obvious […]

Even More Reasons to Live

Even More Reasons to Live

My twenties began as my most carefree days ever, then rapidly crumbled into a time of fear, failure, and a complete loss of my sense of self-worth. After my first unanticipated stay in a psychiatric hospital, I immediately felt the stigma. You can’t, after all, tell a stranger you’ve been in a psychiatric hospital and […]

Taking a Positive Look at Manic Depression – Introduction

I’ve thought about writing something like this before – an essay detailing the positive aspects of my manic depression. It’s tough, though. You see, a huge chunk of my life has been spent apologizing for my gifts. I mean, I didn’t want to become too “stuck on myself.”  So, in order to remain humble, I’d […]

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